my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
