May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
