If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
