Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
