I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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