Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
