worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
