the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so let's talk penis.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
