so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
