i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
