Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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