I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
