I didn't shave. On purpose
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
