Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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