Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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