i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
