I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
