Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
