More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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