I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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