I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
