Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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