I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
