ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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