this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
