ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just had sex bonerless
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
