You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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