I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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