So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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