Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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