dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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