I want to stick my p in your. b.
are you so shy because you have an std?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
