I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
