Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
