Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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