Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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