wrigley field is MILF paradise
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
