I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
COCAINE IS GR8
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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