I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Im part way to drunk.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
