3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
