You really coming over, don't trick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
