Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
