you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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