she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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