I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
