It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
