I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
either way he was missing a nipple.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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