are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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