We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
