Having a random hookup so left but love u
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
